How is the Total Difference Score (TDS) calculated?

TDS is calculated by comparing your priority rankings and summing the absolute differences across all 10 priorities. The score ranges from 0 to 50, where lower scores indicate closer alignment.

What do the TDS labels mean (Symbiotic → Polarized)?

Your score falls into a range with a descriptive label that helps you interpret how aligned your priorities are overall. The label is meant to guide conversation—your results also show the exact areas where you match and differ.

What’s a “normal” TDS score for most couples?

Most couples have a mix of aligned and misaligned priorities. The value of TDS is not “good vs bad”—it’s showing where conversation will matter most so you can navigate tradeoffs with more clarity.

How do I invite my partner to take the test?

After you start a test, you can invite your partner by email or share your unique invitation link/code so they can join the same test.

What data is stored, and what is not stored?

We store your account information (name, email, profile details), your priority rankings, TDS scores, custom priority sets, and AI-generated insights. We also store the email address of partners you invite, solely for delivering invitations. We collect non-personal information like browser type, device type, and general usage statistics automatically. We do not sell your personal information.

Do you use cookies or analytics?

We use essential cookies solely to maintain your authentication session—we do not use third-party ad tracking cookies. We use minimal, privacy-respecting analytics to understand general site usage patterns such as page views and visit counts. These analytics do not track individual users across websites or build advertising profiles.

What happens if I share my results link?

If you generate a shareable results link, anyone with that link can view the test results. You control whether to share this link. Without a shared link, your results are only visible to you and your test partner.

What’s the difference between Classic and Custom priority sets?

Classic uses the 10 core priorities from the Prioritize Us framework. Custom sets let you tailor priorities to a specific topic or season of life so you can explore alignment in the areas that matter right now.

About

Understanding Prioritize Us

What Is Prioritize Us?

Prioritize Us is a relationship clarity tool built on a simple but powerful idea: when two people understand what matters most to each other, they can navigate anything together. The test asks each partner to independently rank 10 core life priorities, then compares the results to reveal where you align — and where you don't.

It's not a personality quiz or a compatibility score. It's a mirror that reflects your true values back to you, and a bridge that helps you understand your partner's values in return.

The Origin

From a Book to a Movement

The Prioritize Us method was created by Nick Brancato and published in his award-winning book of the same name — winner of the Indie Book Award. What started as a framework in a book has grown into a tool used by thousands of couples to spark honest conversations and realign what matters most.

The digital test you're using now brings the book's core exercise online, making it accessible, instant, and shareable. Whether you've read the book or not, the test stands on its own as a powerful catalyst for connection.

Why It Works

Most relationship conflicts aren't about the specific issue at hand — they're about underlying priorities that haven't been named or understood. When one partner values career growth above all else and the other values quality time, friction is inevitable — unless both people can see and respect the difference.

Prioritize Us makes the invisible visible. By ranking priorities independently and then comparing, couples bypass defensiveness and assumption. The result is a concrete, visual map of where you stand — and a starting point for the conversations that matter most.

The Science Behind It

The Prioritize Us method isn't built in a vacuum — it draws on decades of relationship science. Here are the research-backed principles that make it work:

🔬

Values Alignment Predicts Satisfaction

Research consistently shows that couples who share core values report higher relationship satisfaction. A landmark study in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that similarity in values — more than personality traits — is one of the strongest predictors of long-term relationship success.

— Luo & Klohnen, 2005

🗣️

Structured Dialogue Reduces Conflict

Dr. John Gottman's research at the University of Washington demonstrated that couples who engage in structured, non-defensive conversations about their differences are significantly more likely to stay together. The Prioritize Us ranking process creates exactly this kind of structured framework.

— Gottman & Silver, 1999

❤️

Understanding Love Languages

Dr. Gary Chapman's work on love languages revealed that partners often express and receive love differently. Prioritize Us extends this insight by mapping not just how you love, but what you value most — giving couples a deeper layer of mutual understanding.

— Chapman, 1992

🧠

Self-Awareness Strengthens Bonds

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) research shows that clarifying personal values leads to more intentional behavior and stronger relationships. When both partners articulate what matters most, they move from reactive patterns to purposeful connection.

— Hayes et al., 2006

📊

Measurement Creates Accountability

Behavioral science confirms that what gets measured gets managed. The TDS (Total Difference Score) gives couples a concrete, trackable metric — turning abstract feelings into actionable insight and making progress visible over time.

— Kaplan & Norton, 1996

What You'll Discover

📊

Your Total Difference Score (TDS)

A single number that captures your overall alignment — from perfectly in sync to deeply divergent.

🎯

Priority-by-Priority Comparison

See exactly where each of you ranked every priority, with visual gap indicators for each one.

💬

Conversation Starters

Tailored prompts based on your biggest differences — designed to open dialogue, not arguments.

🧭

Personalized Guidance

AI-generated relationship advice based on your specific score, strengths, and growth areas.

📈

Alignment Over Time

Retake the test and track how your alignment evolves as your relationship grows.

Who Is This For?

Prioritize Us is for any two people who want to understand each other better. Couples at any stage — newly dating, engaged, married for decades. Friends who want deeper connection. Family members navigating change. Even business partners seeking alignment. If you care about a relationship, this test can help.

The Total Difference Score (TDS) is calculated by summing the absolute difference in rankings for each of the 10 priorities. A lower TDS means greater alignment. The maximum possible TDS is 50.

How TDS is Calculated

For each priority, take the absolute difference between your rank and your partner's rank. Sum all 10 differences. That total is your TDS.

Example: Career (you: #1, partner: #4) → |1−4| = 3
Health (you: #2, partner: #2) → |2−2| = 0
… sum all 10 = TDS

TDS at a Glance

Symbiotic

1–5

Synchronized

6–10

Harmonized

11–15

Unified

16–20

Coordinated

21–25

Complementary

26–30

Divergent

31–35

Contrasting

36–40

Fragmented

41–50

Polarized

Symbiotic

Perfect alignment.

Your priorities are fully in sync—an extremely rare occurrence. Your relationship reflects near total harmony, with both partners naturally aligned in their values and decisions.

Synchronized

Strong alignment with very minor differences.

1–5

Maintaining harmony requires little effort, and any adjustments needed are easy and natural. This range suggests your relationship runs smoothly without significant tension.

Harmonized

Well-aligned with a few small differences.

6–10

Your priorities are mostly aligned, with a few small gaps that may require occasional adjustments. You likely experience minor disagreements, but alignment feels natural and easy to maintain.

Unified

Moderate alignment with room for growth.

11–15

You share many values, but a few key differences will require intentional conversations to stay balanced. With open communication, you can maintain connection and address small misalignments as they arise.

Coordinated

Some misalignment—intentional conversations needed.

16–20

You and your partner likely view certain priorities differently, and without intentional balancing, these differences could cause tension over time.

Complementary

Different priorities that need active balancing.

21–25

You and your partner may have contrasting priorities, but with empathy, respect, and active balancing, these differences can complement each other. Alignment will require consistent effort to ensure both partners feel supported.

Divergent

Significant differences that could cause tension.

26–30

Without effort, these differences could strain your connection over time. Regular, honest dialogue is key to bridging the gap.

Contrasting

Major differences that may require deeper work.

31–35

Your values and priorities differ in several key areas, and deeper work is required to reconcile your differences. Intentional alignment will take effort, and it may be necessary to restructure routines or goals to create balance.

Fragmented

Serious misalignment that needs immediate attention.

36–40

You and your partner may struggle to find common ground, with significant differences impacting how you spend time, manage money, or connect emotionally. Regular communication and deliberate compromise are critical to maintaining your relationship.

Polarized

Critical misalignment—professional guidance may help.

41–50

Your priorities are deeply at odds, and it may feel like you're living on different pages. Professional guidance, such as couples therapy or coaching, can provide tools to help you navigate these deep-seated differences and find paths toward alignment.

Remember

Your TDS is a starting point for conversation, not a verdict on your relationship. Every score — from 0 to 50 — comes with insights, strategies, and conversation starters designed to help you grow closer together.

Go Deeper

Grab the Prioritize Us Book Now

Dive deeper into the method with the complete book, including expanded exercises, real-world examples, and advanced frameworks for lasting alignment.

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It's free, takes just 5 minutes, and could transform the way you understand your relationship.

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